My Life According to Paca!

irishprincess05 @ 2007-06-23T18:41:00

2007-06-23T22:52:43Z

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you spend whatever you have.

You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.

You have a tendency to overdo things, but basically you value your friendships highly.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's The True You?

You Are Rum

You're the life of the party, and a total flirt
You are also pretty picky about what you drink
Only the finest labels and best mixed cocktails will do
Except if you're dieting - then it's Diet Coke and Bicardi all the way

What Alcoholic Drink Are You?

In a Past Life...

You Were: An Arrogant Fortune Teller.

Where You Lived: Ireland.

How You Died: Natural causes.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

You Are 96% Massachusetts

Wicked pissa! Now go down to Dunkies and celebrate.

How Massachusetts Are You?

irishprincess05 @ 2007-06-23T18:08:00

2007-06-23T22:30:22Z

So I find myself driving for no good reason other than to get out of the house. In less than a week I will be storming NYC and I'm not sure she will be ready for the craziness that is me! I had time to reflect on a few things such as the absence of a man in my life. I really think he is gone for the summer which sucks and no one has been in contact with him ... I feel wierd calling him. And I don't like that "being cut off" feeling, there was no closure and on top of that he said he loved me.

Why am I still talking about this? I have better things to worry about like the Dylan concert and reading his book before I see him. But it seems that all my thoughts end up on him.

I still have tickets to the Red Sox game for the 13th of July that I bought for his birthday. I'm going to probably take my dad instead, and have a father/daughter day out. Because he is one man in my life that is constant and reliable (of course I have others like Mighty Tai and GPT and all my friends in the Gay community all of which I can rely on). I just thought that I finally did something right for once ... I'm not that distraught over it, but I'm confused by his actions ... plus that is no way to break a year and a half realtionship. Ever since I had that bad news from my doctors he didn't touch me ... I had a biopsy done and got another check up and proved to me that I was ok. He doesn't even know that I'm ok now.

Those words he said haunts me. And I hate him for doing this to me, and yet I love him because he is my soul mate, my better half. I have never felt this way toward anyone and it kills me inside that I can't be with him.

All I can do at this point is hang out with my good friends because I am nothing with out them ... they are my world ... they love me even with my flaws, and I love them the same. I had a great time at the ballpark with J MOnkey, Stine and Mighty Tai, and its friends like those I know I am truley blessed to have. It will be five years this summer of knowing them and I hope another fifty years pass and we are still together ... drinking Dunkies and having gross conversations that make us laugh so hard it hurts!

So I guess at this point in the conversation I am making a toast ... only because I am pouring a glass of red wine for myself or possibly some RUM!

To Old Friends, and New
May a higher power watch over
Me and my crew
~SLANTE~

Drink Up Me Hearties YO HO!

irishprincess05 @ 2007-06-17T08:49:00

2007-06-17T13:21:01Z

Which Tarot Card Are You?

You are the Star card. The Star is the light of hope. Shining in the night, sending light into darkness, the stars provide direction to sailors and are a field on which to dream. Humanity used to look up at the sky and desire to be there, to find out what it all meant, and now we have been a distance into space and have elementary ideas of the makeup of all the different stars. This kind of achievement adds further fuel to our hopes. The eternal, slow-moving stars that will be long shining past the end of our own existence provide hope of immortality, and the vast space they suggest and the very mystery they hold provide us with excitement and knowledge yet to be discovered. Image from: Danielle Sylvie Taylor http://members.limitless.org/~morpheum/gallery.html
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So, its Father's Day. I'm going to my dad's later to celebrate later.

And Jackie Palooza 2007 went well, had a blast (pictures up on Facebook).

And I can't wait till the Dylan concert ... I get to be with friends that weekend and go to work on Sunday to make up the lost day.

I'm sort of having one of those days where I wake up and feel completely lonely. My brother went out last night and I was home not really doing anything ...

I woke up this morning and turned on my side thinking that someone was there waking up beside me ... but no, of course not. I can't get the last conversation out of my head (which was by the way last day in April) that he still loved me ... I've called, text'd and had others do the same and no one seems to be able to get a hold of him. I don't even know if he is still alive for Christs sake. I mean I could go out with other people but I have no interest in others ... I'm not crying over anything, he doesn't even deserve my tears at this point.

He has no balls, he called on the phone to break up with me ... and I still can't believe I am hung up about this! I'm at the point where I've past sadness and putting my self down about it and gone straight to the REALLY PISSED Stage. I'm trying to be rational about all of this, it obviously wasn't anything I did ... but why should I suffer for someone elses problems. I still have sh*t in his apartment but I haven't been able to talk to him so ... ugh.

You know I don't want it to seem that the world revolves around this guy! And it certainly doesn't. I have much more to worry about, like the Red Sox, work, my family ... but he always comes up in conversation.

You know who you are and I know you use to read my LJ ... WAKE UP! Grow some and call me to set up a time and place where we can talk face to face. OR at the VERY LEAST let some one know your alive!
Yes, the world does not revolve around you, and I didn't use you as an escape from my home life ... when you brought that up months ago I wanted to scream. My life, you have no GDamn Idea ... your not 30 yet so you have NO RIGHT to tell me my life has not started. I support my family, my mother with cancer and my brother with school, I work full time, pay taxes and travel with friends. And I juggle my social life, my work life, and my home life pretty well. What gives you the right to tell me my life has not started? What gives you the right to make a desicion like that for me? You should know by know that I am independant and no one makes decisions for me!

Why do I still love you after you put me through this ... because your my soul mate. I'm willing to forgive and forget but we need to talk face to face, what am I to do with out you?

I'm going to go food shopping for my family and then get ready to see my dad ... I think I need to listen to some Janis or Dylan right now.

irishprincess05 @ 2007-06-10T11:53:00

2007-06-10T16:04:27Z

So, I think that I am just going to find HIM and smack him so f*cking hard.

He has to be ignoring me and he needs to grow some balls soon because he is loosing me pretty f*cking quickly.

I have waited and have been giving him chances to call me to talk to me ... I really want to talk to him face to face only because that was bullsh*it the way he broke it off. But it seems that he has been ignoring me.

The ball is in his court. Supposedly he still loves me and he has a pretty poor way of showing he does. I am at that stage where I am just angry (and PMSing)
I hate it because I can't move on, I love him and I don't know if I could forgive him for what he put me through ... I was ignored before, and I am not letting it happen again!

Kitty, any luck in getting a hold of him?

Oh a better and happier subject I am going to the game Tuesday with Wifey, Mighty Tai and the Birthday Girl. I can't wait till Jackie Palooza!

irishprincess05 @ 2007-05-26T15:53:00

2007-05-26T20:06:57Z

UGH!
The pains of being alive!

So at this very moment I am about to punch something ... my mother is screaming at me because I told her I don't want a cat any more. I have no money to spend on taking care of a cat. I am doing my best to take care of this god damn family and I have nothing to show for it except hatred and anger towards the woman who gave birth to me.

I am so sick and f*cking tired of her. I'm 23, I should be enjoying myself and the world around me but she is on my back ... she has cancer and I have to take care of her ... its my duty to stand there while she threatens me with utenciles and other things and listen to her complain that she is in pain and I am not doing anything about it. I have to listen to her tell me that I am 'a horrible person', n'o wonder Jay broke up with you', that is my personal favorite.

I work everyday of the week, leave home at 6:30 work till 5:30pm sometimes 6 and I get home at 7-7:30 (if I go to the gym I won't come home till 8-9) and I sleep .. the day starts over again.

My mother taught me that violence is the answer and I have suppressed that by talking it over with a therapist for four years ... I am NOT going to be like her ...

here I am ranting about sh*t and not saying Hello to you ... its been a rough month ... well actually its been a rough life. I've had ups and downs but I just feel lonely right now.

I miss Jay ... you know he said he loved me before he hung up. I've called 3 times and left voicemails and countless number of texts over this month but I feel like either he hasn't had service with his regular phone or he is just plain ignoring me. This SUCKS.

it feels like the whole world is against me.
... your thoughts?

irishprincess05 @ 2007-04-24T20:29:00

2007-04-25T00:32:16Z

<table width=350 align=center border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2><tr><td bgcolor="#DDDDDD" align=center><font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 14pt;'><b>Who Should Paint You: Andy Warhol</b></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#EEEEEE"><center><img src="http://images.blogthings.com/whatartistshouldpaintyourportraitquiz/andy-warhol.jpg" height="100" width="100"></center><font color="#000000">
You've got an interested edge that would be reflected in any portrait
You don't need any fancy paint techniques to stand out from the crowd!</font></td></tr></table><div align="center"><a href="http://www.blogthings.com/whatartistshouldpaintyourportraitquiz/">What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?</a></div>

<table width=350 align=center border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2><tr><td bgcolor="#EEE9E9" align=center><font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 14pt;'><b>You are a Tomboy Girl!</b></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#FFFAFA"><center><img src="http://images.blogthings.com/whatkindofgirlareyouquiz/tomboy-girl.gif" height="100" width="100"></center><font color="#000000">
Instead of flirting, you tend to pal around with the guys you crush on.
And why not? You can hold your own in sports, video games, and gross out contests.
Just make sure and suprise them with a touch of girlishness every once and a while.
Then you'll be treated like the hottie you are - not like one of the guys.</font></td></tr></table><div align="center"><a href="http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofgirlareyouquiz/">What Kind of Girl Are You?</a></div>

<table width=350 align=center border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2><tr><td bgcolor="#DDDDDD" align=center><font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 14pt;'><b>If You Were Born in 2893...</b></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#EEEEEE"><center><img src="http://images.blogthings.com/ifyouwerebornin2893quiz/future-5.jpg" height="100" width="100"></center><font color="#000000">
Your Name Would Be: Ardv Raak

And You Would Be: A High Priestess / Priest</font></td></tr></table><div align="center"><a href="http://www.blogthings.com/ifyouwerebornin2893quiz/">If You Were Born in 2893</a></div>

irishprincess05 @ 2007-04-24T20:03:00

2007-04-25T00:19:30Z

What is today but yesterdays' tomorrow.

Wifey asked me today if I wanted to see Dylan in concert ... and of course I said yes! Details on that later.

I've been so busy lately but I have taken the time to talk with old buddies! It's possible that I am moving in with Tai, Monkey and Wifey in one big happy appartment!!!!! That would be freakin awesome!

Work has been ... well, work ... what else can I say ... I have learned not to take it too hard when I screw up, I'm human and we all make mistakes ... that's how we learn.

I miss my man ... we've just been too busy to see each other lately but I did get to spend Easter with him and his family (and I got to color eggs!) =D He is such a great guy, I just wish that his work didn't have him constantly ... the poor guy was in DC for a month and the day after he came back to MASS his work called! No rest for the Wicked as wifey always says!

Hopefully I'll be able to spend some time with him this upcoming weekend ... this last weekend I drove around and then found a nice picnic area to meditate in ... it was very relaxing to get out of my stuffy house to do something for myself ... it's good for the soul!

I need to do that more often ... May 1st is my mother's next Dana Farber appointment, she is doing well (thanks for thinking of her!) her iron is lower than what her Doctors would like ....

The other night I woke up smelling smoke, come to find out my neighbors behind me (my backyard is another town) were fighting a brush fire ... I went outside and I could smell thick smoke so I called the local police dispatch ... that is of course how I found out, they told me that a patrole car was sent to my neighborhood because my neighbors both called five minutes before I did ... thankfully the brush fire was contained ... freightning situation though!

Any way, going to take a shower and watch House ... sleep and then start another day in the life of PACA!

~Peace

irishprincess05 @ 2007-02-19T11:40:00

2007-02-19T17:12:03Z

I know its been a long while but I have been very VERY busy in work and in life! I got a biopsy done but it's very doubtful if its Cancer ... my doctors are being Very cautious. I got invited to my high school reunion (hear me laugh in the background) I RSVP'd a maybe but I doubt I'll be going only because I don't like most of them ... I loved college, hated high school!

Talking to the wife right now! Yeah!

And now its lunch time ...

Any way, I went on a date with Jay yesterday to see Pan's Labyrinth and then dinner ... I'm a sap and yes I did cry at the end! We both talked about life and about his business trip to DC (and how I'm going to miss him!). I'm a little sad that he is going but happy for him because he will be making a lot of money that he needs! I'm going to have my weekends free and since I've skipped the gym this past week (doctor told me to take it easy and I've been working really late) I'm going to start going on the weekends ... I guess it will keep me sane for the month!

We literally sat in his car and the one thing that sticks out in my mind is how sad he looked ... I MISS HIM ALREADY!

I have my friends here though, Ithai and Jackie might be coming by for lunch on THursday which makes me very happy, and there is a chance that I might be going out with some other friends ... something I haven't done in a long time is going to a club! We shall see!

I need to get back to work ... have some leftover lunch ... and play with my new IPod Nano from work

Oh yes you heard me right, I got an IPod nano from my company Friday (which is also the day I worked 10 1/2 hours) =D

Can you say ROCK & ROLL kiddies!

irishprincess05 @ 2007-01-23T08:53:00

2007-01-23T14:13:02Z

Thanks guys for all the well wishes! I really appreciate it!

Jay was sick all weekend, and I wish I knew for certain because I would have went over to make some chicken soup or something! Alas, he couldn't get out of bed to answer the door anyway! I called Ithai yesterday for a brief conversation about my last LJ entry (friends only) and as many of you have said, I shouldn't worry about it and that I am healthy ... further proof that I love my friends, and oh how I miss them dearly!

It was my wifeys 23rd birthday on Saturday, I bought her flowers and sent them from The Mendon Greenhouse (sunflowers and pink roses of course) and I think that made her happy! And in turn made me very happy! =D

My brother's 19th birthday, and since I missed his 18th I'm taking him out to dinner ... making me feel just a little older!

Other dates to remember, lets see ... Feb 2nd is my mothers Dana Farber appointment (Hey Jackie, maybe you and I could meet up and have a date that day!!!)and that is Cheryls last day at the office, the 13th is my colposcopy and biopsy (my dad offered to take me ... I got some reading material on it from my doctors and I chatted with some women in my office who have had it, I was told to take the day off and take some strong IB-Prophen before). I will be celabrating anti-Valentines day by watching movies Monday night and celabrating V-Day by going to my appointment.

I told Jay all I want was chocolate for Valentines Day ... I really don't like the holiday because its a couples holiday BUT I love it because I get to send my friends corny cards and I get to tell them that I appreicate them and Love them (even though I try to do that as often as possible)!

Jay is going to D.C in March on a business trip (la sigh) and I will miss him! BUT I plan on getting together with good friends (*cough cough JACKIE, ITHAI, WIFEY ect ect *cough cough) and since I haven't been to a gay club (oh how I love gay men) in a really long time, I'm going to take up Tim's offer of going with him to Providence ... speaking of which, I can't wait for Pride this year! Mo-Hos UNITE! (awe I miss Frank-alla).

I hope Peyton wins the Super Bowl, I'm a little sad from the game (and no one won the office pool ... we all wanted the Saints to go in it if the Pats didn't win).

Well, back to work!

irishprincess05 @ 2007-01-15T07:58:00

2007-01-15T13:19:03Z

Hey there,
I have been extremely busy but I wanted to let you guys know what's been goin on!

I'm keeping my job and I have been doing alot at work ... I go to the gym still, just about two to three times a week depending on when my dad comes by to visit (MWF when he doesn't and T,TH when he does).

I got a call from Christine ... she is a finalist in the Rolling Stones contest and I am SO PROUD of her!!!!!!

Jay and I went out on a date yesterday, ate BBQ and saw Night at the Museum at the IMAX. I liked it, it was very cute and I love history (not to mention that Robin Williams played Teddy Roosevelt!

Afterwards of course, I listened to the Pats game up until halftime and then watched the rest on channel 4 ... two words for the SD Chargers ... Sore Lah-oo-sa-her (sore loosers, for those of you who didn't get the Ace Ventura reference) ... yes, Blame it on the other head coach for your inability to play (cough*cough* head butting* and so on). Oh and afterwards, when the Pats went up to the Chargers to shake hands the Chargers spat in their faces with harsh words and fists (one of our guys had to hold the Chargers back!!! Lets face it, both teams didn't play their best and made mistakes but the Chargers made one too many and the Pats took advantage of it. It was an emotional game, yes, but that doesn't give the Chargers any right to speak out like that ... it makes them look REALLY bad ... did anyone see the head coaches shake hands because I think I missed that.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr Day; on this day act tolerant to other in actions, words, and thoughts ... never let his dream die!

GO PATS!

irishprincess05 @ 2006-12-29T10:35:00

2006-12-29T15:35:32Z

So rumor has it that I will be getting laid off ... the Rochester office has been tip-toeing around us for the past few weeks, no one has offered my temp manager a full-time Payroll Manager position and no one has trained for the position of my co-worker who is leaving in a couple of months. Not like I haven't been looking but I am so pissed and depressed because I have only been here for 4 months and NO ONE has told us to our faces ... we have to guess this!

Rumor has it that my boss is going to be telling us on Tuesday after New Years and I know for a fact that I will cry!

I have been searching all morning online and I found that Dana Farber is hiring a few positions and I don't care about the commute ... I can always take the train and plus I will be doing something that I love ... helping people who happen to be in my situation with a sick mother.

The morale at my company is low, and this isn't helping because most of my office here in Waltham knows and its spreading like wildfire ... many people are miffed ... and what I don't get is that only one woman in Rochester will be handling the Payroll which takes myself, and three others late nights to finish a pay run ...

I seriously want to cry right now because all I am thinking is how to take care of my cancerous mother, help pay her bills, and paying my student loans ... I thought I was in the clear and I wasn't worrying till now ...

I'm getting a copy of my resume and I'm going to update it and add my old boss who left last month as another reference (she heard the rumors through someone else and offered earlier to be a reference and hell, I'm taking her up on that)

I'm leaving early today and I was going to the gym but I think I'm going to get some retail therapy first ... and talk to some friends for advice.

irishprincess05 @ 2006-12-19T08:40:00

2006-12-19T13:40:27Z

Ok, so let me tell you how my night was!

Something set my mother off last night and she went BALISTIC! She acts like she's ten years old ... she decided to kick the Christmas presents that I bought for Jeff and Jay ... I said 'Jeeze thanks ma, how am I going to explain to Jeff that his gift was broken when my mother kicked it in an immature rampage'. She yelled at me for not calling her all day yesterday ... oh yeah ... because I was working! DUH! And then complains that I watch to much tv (I come home after the gym and watch an hour to an hour and a half of TV a day) and called me Queen ... 'Can I watch tv now oh Queen?' shit like that makes me want to scream.

She complained that she was in so much pain yesterday, but this brings me back to the story of the Boy who cried wolf ... she is saying that she is in pain but I don't think she really is ... when she really is in pain I won't care because I'll think she is lieing.

She needs to stop blaming this attitude on her parents and shit that happend 30 years ago. My mother complains about me all the time that I am a bad person, that I am selfish, that I don't care if she dies and that she doesn't want anything from me, that I don't help out around the house. You know what I say to that ... Bull Shit! I am worth it, I am only selfish when it comes to situations where it calls for it (like my time at the gym), I do care (but not when she claimes that she is going to die tomorrow ... ect)

She wants to get out of the house and she wants me to take her places after work ... but when I come home from work I'm exhasted and on top of that I go to the gym three days a week! There is no pleasing her!

There is another thing, she tells me things about her 'boyfriend' Ray and its like she is trying to compete with me through her relationship ... I don't get it ... she needs help.

irishprincess05 @ 2006-12-13T11:58:00

2006-12-13T16:58:14Z

So yesterday I went to the denist and other than a cavity, they were pretty happy with me. I also joined Gold's Gym and I will be working out for the first time as a member tonight! My plan is to work out three times a week and take at least one class a week. THis is of course going along my "diet" which is just me eating healthier ... no more pasta for lunch! It's going to be salads with tuna or chicken or sandwiches that I make with healthy snacks and no soda (only one at dinner). This is going to help with my stress level, and like whan I worked out with the girls at MCLA it went from my head down ... I really want a fit body (NOT A SIZE 2 but maybe a size 16) I want to lose 10% of my body wieght first ... which is something like 22 pounds. And I have a whole year to do it in! I am motivated but I need a little help, send some love and encouragement! I am so lucky to have friends who care about my health!

irishprincess05 @ 2006-12-11T08:34:00

2006-12-11T13:34:27Z

Ugh, its another Monday and I am exhausted. I had a great 75minute conversation with the Mighty Tai on Friday night and went to the wine shop afterwards. But the two bottles of wine I bought decided to jump ship when I arrived at Jay's on Friday night. He got called in to help out with his 'rents at a phone-a-thon and I was sad ... to say the least. I think he thinks that he is my "escape" from my house and I really think he is a little angry with me because of how I acted. I acted like a child really. And no, he isn't my "escape" that is what work is for. I love him and I want to spend time with him but that can only happen on the weekend because of my full time job and his full time job. And last weekend I couldn't spend anytime with him because he was called into work. I'm fustrated at how I acted, but I want to spend time with the man I love ... is that being selfish?

Ugh, I hate MOndays! And tomorrow I get to have the day off ... but I'm heading to the dentist, getting a cleaning and they get to yell at me that I'm not taking care of my teeth (but I am) and that my gums are bleeding (but your poking me with a metal spike). Fun Times!

I hope I get to spend next weekend with Jay ... scary that Christmas is in two weeks ... I hope this week goes by fast!

ciao

Stole this from my cousin Laura!

2006-12-06T14:58:44Z

1. What is your full name now? Amanda Jean Hourihan

2. What color pants are you wearing now? Black

3. What are you listening to right now? Oldies 103.3 Christmas music

4. What was the last thing you ate? Apple Jacks

5. Do you wish on stars? Only on shooting stars

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? One of those multi-colored ones!

7. How is the weather right now? Freezing!

8. Who is the last person you spoke to on the phone? My brother Joe

9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes =D

10. How old are you today? 22 years, 6 months and 1 day old
11. Favorite drink? Cranberry juice
12. Favorite sports? Baseball, football and hockey
13. Hair color? Brown, black and light brown
14. Siblings? 1 brother

15. Favorite food? Anything with chocolate or pasta
16. What was the last movie you watched? Elf with Will Farrell

17. Favorite day of the year? It’s a toss up between Christmas, Halloween and when ever I get to see my college buddies

18. What was your favorite toy as a child? My stuffed Alf

19. Summer or winter? Summer
20. Hugs or kisses? I love to cuddle but I do like kisses
21. Chocolate or Vanilla? Do you even have to ask? Chocolate of course!

23. Who is most likely to respond? Since I'm posting this in my LJ cause no one response to my email ... I would think Christine or Rob.

24. Who is least likely to respond? Ha, if I sent it to my dad!

25. Living arrangements? Living with my ma

26. When was the last time you cried? Watching 'It's a Wonderful Life' not too long ago ... I always cry at that movie!

27. What is under your bed? Surprisingly nothing except maybe extra pillows

28. Who is the friend you have known the longest? Amy 8 years and Tim 6 years

29. What did you or will you do tonight? I'm planning on going out with my dad to eat and maybe La Sallette coming home and watching a few Xmas movies and sipping egg nog!

30. Favorite smell? Cranberries, the smell of burning wood on a stove/in a fire place, and baked cookies (Oh how I love Yankee Candle)

31. Favorite TV show? House and Lost

32. Happy in life? I count my blessings, so yes!

33. What are you afraid of? My mother getting bad news

34. Plain, buttered or salted popcorn? Pass the Buttered Popcorn please!

35. Favorite car? Hybrid

36. Favorite Flower? Antique Roses

37. Number of keys on your key ring? 7, including the cottage and work

38 How many years at your current job? 4 months

39. Favorite day of the week? Every other Friday (Pay Days!)

40. What did you do on your last birthday? Went out to eat with my crew

41. How many cities have you lived in? Norton, Marshfield, Norwood, and Mendon ... none of which could be classified as a city, well maybe Norwood

42. Do you make friends easily? I like meeting new people, so I try

43. How many people will you be sending this to? Well since no one reads my emails I'm going to be posting this in my Live journal ... Since I have like 20 people on my friends list I would have to say 5 people.

post in my comments section and paste your answers in your LJ!

irishprincess05 @ 2006-12-01T08:21:00

2006-12-01T13:21:02Z

So I called Jay last night and he is going to be very busy this weekend to my disapointment ... and then when I ask him about La Sallett which is a family tradition he said that he "has his reasons" not to go. That really upset me, so much I just couldn't talk and I know he knows how upset I was because after that our conversation was about 5 minutes of silence.

I'm Pagan, and I go to La Sallett because I like to see the lights, I want to light a candle for my mother ... is it too much to ask him to walk around with me and a cup of hot chocolate ... Its not like I'm going to convert him to Christianity or something when I'm recovering myself. I felt like crap last night!

I get the christmas blues, I love the holiday but I get very upset about things. I'm so stressed out, I worked (this week and last week including 8 hours of overtime the week before) 99.5 hours! And my mother tweeked out this past tuesday and everytime I hear certain carols I'm about five minutes away from crying.

I do all of his family functions and traditions ... why can't he do this for me? It must be a good reason ... my brother was in the room during this and from an outsider he doesn't understand it ... I said I would go myself ALONE to la sallett and after we hung up my brother offered to go with me on a weekend and my dad would probably go as well. I'm tried, I want to go back to bed ...

why do I feel unappreciated by a select few of people (my mother included) ... this is the reason why I hate christmas ... I used to love it but its becoming a burden

irishprincess05 @ 2006-11-29T16:01:00

2006-11-29T21:01:35Z

I had a bad night ...

can you tell?

I'm going to join the gym after the 8th because I just dont have the money to spend on myself at the moment ... its the Xmas shopping thats killing me lol

I miss college ... I was stuck in the meat locker that is the back room of Pay Roll to find every single time sheet from this dude from 2003 through 2004 ... paper cuts galore

I want to sleep but I cant ... I'm going to pick up a few more gifts tonight (I've been spreading out the gift buying so there won't be any LAST MINUTE SHOPPING this year ... of course its me thats talking and I know that I'm gonna forget something!)

oh and the people that moved over to my old office are morons!!!

irishprincess05 @ 2006-11-28T19:57:00

2006-11-29T00:57:38Z

I HATE MY FUCKING MOTHER SHE IS A FUCKING PHSYCO

I PAY FOR EVERY FUCKING THING HERE AND I COME HOME FROM A 9 HOUR DAY (I PUT IN A 50 WEEK) AND THIS IS WHAT I FUCKING GET ... HER SCREAMING AT ME AND MY BROTHER, HER THROWING POTS AND PANS AND THREATING WITH A FUCKING KNIFE!

AND ALL THE WHILE SHE SAYS THAT SHE IS SICK AND IS GOING TO DIE!

I CAN'T TAKE THIS SHIT ANY MORE ... I PAID FOR THE CABLE BILL, THE HEATING BILL, HER PERSCRIPTIONS, THE INTERNET AND COMING SOON, THE FUCKING MORGAGE ON THE HOUSE

I FUCKING HATE HER ... I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT SO FUCKING SICK

I WANT TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE JUST TO GET AWAY FROM THIS HELL HOLE

SHE SAYS THAT SHE CAN'T GET ANYONE ANYTHING FOR XMAS AND THEN STARTS RANTING AT THE FACT THAT SHE BETTER GET A GIFT ...

Got to get motivated

2006-11-27T20:01:01Z

I'm trying to get motivated today ... I am going to join Gold's Gym in Milford which is close to my house, the hours are really good (from like 5am till 10pm) and once I join I can go to any or all the classes they offer.

So I'm trying to motivate myself on joining the gym, I have gained weight since I left MCLA and I've been more depressed lately. When I went to the gym with the girls I felt good about myself ... not to mention the fact that a few weeks ago someone at work thought I was pregnant (such a downer for an overwieght woman). I'm eating pretty healthy, I eat breakfast, lunch (usually a sandwhich or half a serving of pasta from the Cafe down the street ... which I always walk to) and my brother usually cooks dinner. I need to get motivated!

I just wish I could have a friend here that would pay $450 a year to join with me. I still practice yoga but I don't do it everyday because I dont have the structure of a class like I did at school ... and when I went to the gym Monday/Wed/Frid I would practice Yoga on the Tues/Thurs to stretch my sore muscles.

Please give me some words of encouragement ... I love being me, I love being a full figured woman but there is a line between big and beuatiful and unhealthy and I'm heading toward unhealthy ... feel free to leave some love!

Should I join the gym?

Sounds like someones got the case of the MOndays

2006-11-27T13:26:16Z

UGH! I hate Mondays! THanksgiving was good, I went with Jay to his family's Thanksgiving Day Party ... lots of turkey, wine, cranberry sauce and FOOTBALL!

Yesterday was Jay and my 1 year anniversary ... I got him a few things like the Mythbusters DVD and fridge magnets, I got flowers. He was getting sick, I'm pretty sure its because its so dry in his apartment so we didn't do much to my disapointment. Watched the Patriots game and Junior's arm break on HD tv ... I heard the crunch and it haunts me ...::shivers::... I'm in the office right now not doing anything productive, my co-worker Ray is here but Cheryl and Richard are nowhere to be found. The nice things was I had Friday off ... but I still hate Monday.

I'm starting to get my holiday blues again ... sad for no good reason. I am so tired right now, just give me a pillow and a blanket ... I'll set up under my desk!

Good night!

irishprincess05 @ 2006-11-20T14:28:00

2006-11-20T19:28:38Z

So I'm at work in Waltham and I have nothing better to do (at the moment, and this will change very quickly) than let you know that I am alive and well ...

I have been very busy, I am going to be celebrating my 1year anniversary with Jay on Sunday and I am excited. I am also going to be celebrating Thanksgiving with his family which I am WICKED excited for!

Well back to the grind stone, Its only going to be a three day week anyway ... Thursday is Turkey Day and Friday I got off (its also Pay day) Oh speaking of which. I got a raise, its not much but they gave it to me because I moved my office to Waltham.

Rock and Roll girlfriend!

irishprincess05 @ 2006-11-09T08:16:00

2006-11-09T13:16:04Z

So, I am going to Waltham this morning and I have a few minutes to update. My office is moving Friday and that may mean I have a half day of work! WOO HOO! Today I have a meeting in Waltham and I have to sort through pay roll which I don't mind at all. But last night was horrid, someone in my neighborhood had their car alarm go on and off all freakin night ... it woke me up at 11:30 (I fell asleep watching Lost again, dont worry I taped it) then it went off at 1am, 1:30am, 2:15am, and then went silent until 3:30am and went on and off a few times between that and 5am. I get up at 6am ... and on top of that I had traffic on 495 from Milford to the Pike ...

But on the other hand I'm too tired to actualy care or be pissed off ... I have a few minutes to catch up on some email and then I am off to Waltham!

This weekend I might be going into Boston with Jay ... and yes we are doing well!

And Happy Early Birthday Paco! I hope you get my card in the mail!

Peace!

irishprincess05 @ 2006-10-31T10:33:00

2006-10-31T15:40:26Z

Happy Halloween to my Christian friends!

And a Very Happy Samhain to my Pagan Friends!

Yes I am dressed up as a witch and I am going to have a small ritual tonight because Jay and I are going to do something this weekend together. Hey the more the merrier!

Still stressed out a lot because of my family situation but I am trying to get through it. I went food shopping and came home, then I sat down to dinner for five minutes and then got yelled at by my mother because I didn't pick her Px up ... I got that then came home, watched a little of the Pats game and went to bed. I need to find a doctor and dentist near my house and then find a srink to help me destress and also help me understand whats going on.

I'm so stressed out that my back is killing me!!!

Well, its the new year, and those things are in the past and I have everything to look forward to this upcoming year!

Blessed Be!

irishprincess05 @ 2006-10-27T13:19:00

2006-10-27T17:20:32Z

SO I was having a pretty good day considering that I have a head cold (which is going away) until I went to lunch. I was on my way out the door and dressed in the Marie Antoinette costume saw the president of the building (apparently) and he complimented on my wig. Then we got into a quick talk about the move to Waltham and I told him what a horrible drive it was yesterday and he said and I quote “Yeah it looks like you are driving for two” … I was and still am insulted. After I ate at Panera (chicken noodle soup) I called Jay and I cried (he said that I was perfect and beautiful). I felt like crap before and now … well now I feel like crap and fat. You know I try so hard to stay healthy, I eat a sandwich or soup for lunch with a small piece of bread and a fruit salad for desert … Joe cooks dinner and I start the day with Cream of Wheat and Tea … I HATE CARING ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME! Life goes on, but I still feel like ... my self esteem is shot

I was reading Cosmo (aka the bible) and it was saying to go up to the mirror in the morning and tell your self that you are beautiful.

I wish I was with wifey and jackie ... I need my girlfriends!

i am beautiful ... I am beautiful ... I Am Beautiful DAMNIT!

irishprincess05 @ 2006-10-17T16:43:00

2006-10-17T20:47:05Z

I can't talk long ... Very busy

Heres life in a nutshell

I'm in love with Jay

Work Sucks ... they are making me move to the Waltham office or I have the choice of leaving ... aint that FANTASTIC (note sarcasm)

I'm very busy

I miss my friends

and I have 15 minutes left of work today